OK folks, I really want to hear your thoughts on our ‘No Bags Involved’ advertising angle. This snappy little tag line accompanies this pic…
What do you think?
No Bags Involved!
August 5th, 2010Getting Creative
July 14th, 2010Hello folks,
Sorry I’ve not been updating much recently, but I’ve been busy on a little project of mine that I’m now ready to share.
Aside from the dating agency pursuits, I dabble a little in painting and writing music, and I have just launched my own website.
I have also discovered a great service called reverbnation, where I have set up my own music store, plus they are going to distribute my music onto services such as Amazon and Itunes. Very exciting indeed! I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!
My least favourite aspect of running a dating service
May 25th, 2010Amongst all the fun and satisfaction that is generated through organising dates for people, you get the inevitable sadness and frustration when you have no choice but to let people down.
Today, I had to refund and cancel (wincingly for the third time) a dinner booking for a really lovely (unbelievably kind and understanding) lady in her sixties. There just weren’t enough sixty-somethings signed-up for the dinner.
Despite climbing the ranks in google search rankings for the top keyword ‘mature dating’ we are still struggling to gain new members in these age-groups. We are especially lacking in the male front! Where are all you single gents? This unbalance also frustratingly filtrates through our other age-groups. I have had to cancel more than a few bookings recently because of just simply not having enough boys to accommodate all the females of the species signed up for dinners.
This is the single most trying part of running our dating service. It genuinely upsets me to have to write that apology email informing someone their booking has to be cancelled. Especially, as often I will put considerable effort into contacting our male members (or at times even single friends we have in London) to try and get a suitable dinner group together rather then having to let someone down. Hitting ’send’ on one of these emails is really a very sad and frustrating moment indeed.
I always try to be completely honest with members when I do this, as I believe that offering a genuine apology and upfront explanation breeds understanding and patience. And it has to be said that on the whole, this approach pays off. There are too many faceless businesses out there with automated responses to customer queries and no real care or commitment to customer service. Whilst we may at the moment be struggling to arrange dinner dates for everyone who signs up, I can proudly say that we try our absolute hardest, and we genuinely care about each and every member’s experience of simplydinner.
Advice please! Online dating too long, no success
May 23rd, 2010Dear Tina,
I have been online dating now for over two years and am totally frustrated with my experience. Despite meeting a few people that I have liked enough to go on a second date with, I just still haven’t managed to find that special person. I dread to think just how much time exactly I have spent emailing people and going on disastrous, awkward dates. I was searching the internet for new ideas to date and came across your excellent blog post on how you came up with your dinner dating idea. Do you think this would work for me? I am willing to try something new, but to be honest I am so frustrated with online dating I think maybe I will just come across as negative!
Thanks, Anita
Dear Anita,
Thank you so much for your email. Rest assured, you are not alone here. As well as my own personal experiences with the frustrations you talk of, I have several good friends who have also been unsuccessful after significant time spent online dating. I am happy to report though, that since trying out simplydinner, they have all found a new energy and enthusiasm for dating and one of them is now actually in a relationship.
The main reason it has this effect is because of our completely different approach to match-making. Instead of you spending endless hours batting emails back-and-forth, you get to meet up with people without all this expectation-building banter, which I personally think is often counter-productive, not to mention one of the biggest time-chompers there is! Secondly, the group aspect of our dinner dates, means that you effectively meet several potential partners in one go! Plus being in a group setting removes that awful awkwardness that invariably happens sometimes on a one-on-one date. Even if you’re not actually attracted to anyone at the dinner, I guarantee you’ll just have a really fun and entertaining time that will re-enthuse you about dating.
We even have a dinner called ‘Dedicated Online Daters’ specifically for peolpe who have been online dating for some time and are disappointed with their experiences and looking for something new!
I hope that helps. Do let me know how you get on!
Best wishes
Tina
Another first date yarn
May 11th, 2010- Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.
- A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.
- “No,” replied the gentleman. “My son just bought his first car and right now he’s getting ready for a big date.”
- “So what’s with all the stuff?” asked the neighbor.
- “Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.”
My sociology class
May 11th, 2010- In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
- “Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”
- I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked: “How do you spell ‘intellectual?’”
Any objections?
May 10th, 2010- had a date with Joanne and it went really well. As the evening progressed they found themselves in a passionate embrace.
- Carl: “Tell me, do you object to making love?”
- Joanne: “That’s something I have never done before.”
- Carl: “Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?” Car was amazed.
- Joanne: “No, silly!” she giggled. “I’ve never objected!”
Why I am anti-profile based online dating
April 26th, 2010I truly believe that there is no formula for love. There is no rhyme or reason as to why two people should fit together. And that is why I think profile based dating is not the best way to date online.
Of course, having a mutual love of stamp collecting, or both having watched A Fish Called Wanda (my favorite film by the way!) more times than you’ve had new sexual partners (yep I confess that’s me too, well probably… – I mean I have watched it a lot of times!) means that there’s always something to talk about. At the very least on your date you can exchange fascinating rare stamp seeking stories, or try and beat each other on the most obscure quote you can come up with (‘I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs’ – sorry couldn’t resist).
But in my experience, and of course we are all different, this really makes no difference to whether you are actually going to hit it off. No matter how perfect they sound on paper, there is no telling whether that spark is going to be there or not.
Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic. But I truly believe you need that pizzazz – that inexplicable chemical reaction – as the first building block for anything else, as the foundation for a flourishing happy and healthy relationship.
From my year of dedicated online dating, I can honestly say that the few who got my pulse up a gear, were the least likely candidates profile-wise. And similarly the seemingly perfect matches were so dull that, on more that one occasion, I actually had to resort to one of the emergency get-out methods that any practiced online dater should have. (Get a mate to phone you after a half hour or so. If required you can feign shock to hear of how your best friend’s husband has just announced he is sleeping with her brother, and make your valid excuse to get the hell out of there. Or, alternatively, you can come up with a more tailored story to your circumstance, which may sound a bit more authentic. ‘My private investigator has just found an extremely rare and valuable Penny Black mint stamp, and it is for sale in a junk shop for $5. I have to go and get it now. Of course you understand. Bye’. It’s a bit of an old and obvious method, but at least better than nothing. If anyone has any other methods please do share them with me.)
Admittedly there is some use to the profile method, for at least weeding out the obvious no-no’s. If you’re 5’10 (more important for a girl, especially if you’re partial to wearing heels) you’re really not terribly keen on meeting up with dwarfs. If you’re a single parent of five little darlings, the ‘children? I think I was one once’ type kidophobes are probably best avoided.
Anyway, my frustrations with the profile method, the amount of time chomped away administering the whole thing (explored in my last post) and the endless disappointments, gave rise to an idea…
But more of that to come.
For now, folks, happy spring to y’all
Tina
A year of dedicated online dating
April 21st, 2010Almost every single person I know has tried online dating, with a good proportion of them having tried because of my persuasion. I guess I’m quite a good advert for it though, having met my partner through one of the larger and more well-known sites (think striking something to create a flame).
It didn’t happen overnight though. In fact it took over a year of dedicated online dating. The process itself is quite a journey. One starts off in a flurry of enthusiasm and activity. As soon as you upload your profile for the first time, you literally get bombarded with contact from all sorts of people.
At first this is very exciting, and you energetically give your fingers more exercise than they’ve ever had before as you frantically type lots of replies. However, the quicker you learn to be über fussy, the better, trust me.
I wasted so much time replying to people that had written me really lovely emails, clearly having taken the time to digest my (somewhat lengthy and prosaic profile). I was flattered by their efforts and felt compelled to respond, ignoring the fact that their photos did not inspire the same enthusiasm.
In hindsight, this was very silly of me, spending precious time writing emails when I didn’t even find them attractive. I suppose I thought I should give an award-winning personality the chance to impress me. But the few people I actually met up with in this category, I knew instantly that it would go no further. Unfortunately personality alone just doesn’t cut enough mustard for me. I need to at least fancy someone a bit in order to make the progression between friendship and romance. And I was not online dating in order to make new friends.
On the other end of the scale, the (few) cute model-types usually had about two sentences to their profiles and came across as shallow as a pond in a desert.
There are of course exceptions to every rule. And there amongst the 99% of pebbles are the occasional jewels: the ones that make it all worth while.
To find said jewels, however, naturally becomes quite a process. Most people who have been online dating for a while start to view it as one of the daily chores: do the washing, cook a meal, vacuum the floor, process the new messages… Generally one establishes a particular time of day to do the task, a good hour or two at least is ideal. As you become more practiced however, you get a lot faster at scanning down your message list, or scrolling through a new bunch of mug shots, in order to hopefully pick out a potential candidate or two.
My year of online dating (or ’27 Men’ as is titled my book) saw me meet a whole bunch of characters, and is certainly mentally labelled as one of the most memorable years of my life.
The greatest thing about online dating is that you get to communicate with people that you would otherwise never cross paths with. The likelihood of my meeting my current partner randomly is about as fat as a size 0 model. We lived, worked and hung out in very different worlds. In fact, in many ways, we’re a good example of ‘when opposites attract’ – something that profile based online dating doesn’t really nurture. But more of that in another post…
For now, over and out
Tina
To quote Plato
April 21st, 2010“AT THE TOUCH OF LOVE EVERYONE BECOMES A POET.”
Plato